Sermons In Written Form
Believing & Releasing
2/15/2009
A couple of years ago my daughter was learning about the animals of the earth. At the time she believed in unicorns, fairies, dragons, and all of the other mythical creatures we had read about in storybooks. Through the study of animals in school she was told that unicorns and dragons did not exist. This started a big mental evaluation of life for her. Day after day on the ride to school she would ask about animals she had learned about, but had not seen or did not remember seeing at the zoo like dolphins, zebras, whales, kangaroos. She would ask me "Mommy, unicorns are not real, but are dolphins real?". I would respond "Yes dolphins live in the ocean". Often she would say "I don't think they're real I've never seen one". She seemed to be playing with the idea of letting what she saw in the external world dictate what was real for her.
I didn't really know how to handle her questions because I didn't really believe that unicorns were alive and well in our local forests, but I did want to encourage her belief in the possibility of anything. I also wanted her to believe in her internal truth. Looking back on the situation I was sad that she was starting to play into the familiar dynamic that the outside world dictates what is real. I was sad because I, myself, really wanted to believe that everything I wanted or needed in life was inside me and that simple belief in something would make it real in my world. I did believe that to an extent, but I wanted more.
I can think of countless situations where I or people around me have asked the universe for something and received the opposite. Then there are other instances when a request is made and the request instantly manifests. Looking at these two very different results can had me thinking that manifestation is a crap shoot! Or that we are at the mercy of an external God. So what do you do when you ask for love and companionship, but you find yourself sobbing under a blanket, feeling overwhelmingly alone, isolated, and in intense emotional pain with nobody running over to help you through? In a time like this you can choose to be aware that you are releasing the energy, emotion, and belief systems that have prevented you from having love and companionship.
Often, we get to this point of releasing the old to get to the new creation and we get stuck resisting what we are releasing. Releasing is a necessary experience to make space for the new creation. Sometimes the release is instant and painless and other times it takes a longer period of time and there is pain. When the release process is resisted we can get sucked into a false belief that since the opposite is being experienced we cannot have what we asked for. This is not true. This is also a great time to put your belief in self, spirit and universe into action. At the darkest hour there is power in believing that the darkness is temporary and that what you asked for is being created. Belief in this will guide you to see the light at the end of the tunnel where there is space for what you asked for to grow and manifest. Belief can neutralize resistance allowing anyone to accept the present. Neutrality and acceptance of the present moment makes it possible for new creations to come in. By accepting the present you open to new possibilities and miracles.
Right now, it is hard for people to accept the present. We fear any change in our lives that might bring uncertainty. Many people are resisting spending money, moving, changing jobs, even taking meditation classes until someone says the economy is turning around. Lives seem to be coming to a standstill and people are waiting to make changes until something in the world changes. I can't help wondering what life would be like if each of us would take a bigger step in believing that as individuals we have everything we need inside of us to fulfill our purpose in life and by opening to possibility we can see the miracles in our life and the presence of God?
This month my daughter brought home a book about two unicorns and a dragon that lived in a forest near a castle. One day they decided to go into the castle to let people know they existed. The people in the castle did not believe that unicorns or dragons existed so when they walked into the castle the non believers could not see them. The dragon took drastic measures and blew fire over a group of people. The only response he got was somebody wondering why it suddenly got so warm.
After reading this story I began to ask myself what possibilities I am eliminating from my life by not believing or having faith? How often are we walking around this world in self pity or frustration believing we do not have what we asked for when the universe is constantly answering our prayers and requests. If you fully believed that you already have everything within you and all you had to do was let it manifest how differently would you live your life? So today I invite you to believe that you have everything you need within you and all possibilities exist.
Forgiveness
10/26/2008
I recently had an amazing experience with forgiveness. I had a painful falling out with a friend this year. Our agreement to be friends was ending and we chose to end it in a painful way. It was one of those situations where I completely wrote this person off and had no intention of speaking to her ever again. I felt betrayed and deeply hurt. I knew if I chose to use my spiritual tools I could mend this situation and forgive, but I was choosing to not do this and I was unaware how much pain this was causing me.
I recently realized how choosing to stay closed off was effecting me. Since I was closed off to the possibility of healing this situation I became rigid in my thinking and feeling. I felt ashamed that I had a friendship crumble like this because "it's not spiritual" and I should set an example. If this person was mentioned I would try to show no emotion, closing myself even further. I was stuck in a power battle. I was also in complete competition with this person. I was attempting to show that I was not hurt and I was better off without the friendship. I would scoff at any news of what she was doing because it was obviously all an act and I was sure she was in pain. At times, I was doing something new I would think of how she would react if she heard what cool new things I was doing.
On the flip side, we were friends for many years so I had an abundance of positive memories. I would find myself reminded of an event that happened where we shared laughter and I would laugh. This would then turn into a negative thought about what a bad person I thought she was.
The truth was that she was not a bad person and she did not MAKE me feel this way. I did! I chose pain over healing the situation. I was even aware of a time where she was basically asking me to heal the situation and end the conflict and out of spite I would not.
The bigger truth was I did not need to forgive her I needed to forgive myself. Many of the things I was angry about had more to do with me than her. She was simply a mirror and all the anger and negativity I was feeling and emoting was looping back to me and compounding. The whole situation was really impacting my self worth, but I felt it was too far gone to fix. However, when the pain was to much for me I remembered my spiritual tools so I started to use them slowly. Coincidentally, I was a Minister participating in a Karmic Cleansing night that took place recently. A Karmic Cleansing is similar to a baptism. It is an opportunity to wash away karma that has not yet been balanced. I set my intention for that night that I would cleanse my agreement with her and incorporate forgiveness. I went to the Karmic Cleansing night and gave healings. I also received one. Two days later I received an email from her saying she wanted to move towards forgiveness with me. I was amazed! We exchanged apologies and appreciation for one another and our past friendship. I felt so much lighter and free.
I realized how much fear I had placed on whether she would forgive me or not. I unconsciously put myself in a state where I could not forgive her unless she forgave me. We had been stuck in a stalemate with fingers pointed at each other. Forgiveness allowed me to let go of the past. It was also my path to healing. I can now have love and appreciation for this person as well as myself. When I incorporated forgiveness it felt like a miracle.
Finding Happiness In The Present
8/18/2008
About two years ago I realized how much I did not enjoy my job.
I began to think of different ways that I thought I would be happy in my career and life. So I set out to create a happier situation for myself.
It took about one year and a half and a very candid discussion with my boss, but I created a new work life that I was very excited about. I was working about 10 hours a week in my old job as a contractor and I had time to teach meditation classes and take on all sorts of extra projects. Freedom in my career is what I was experiencing. I should have been feeling ecstatic, right?
I was not feeling ecstatic. I was bouncing between fear, loneliness, and pain. I was caught in this false thought that since I was not working a tiring amount of hours I was not financially stable, but that was not true. I kept experiencing feelings that took away my freedom. In all my worry about finances and feeling that I was in lack I spoke with a long time family friend who was very well off financially. She began telling me how concerned she was about her finances and how uncertain she felt about her financial future. In that conversation I began to realize that I could create anything in my life, but if I did not stop placing my security and happiness on outside factors I wouldn't be completely happy with anything. I also, realized what I was seeking was freedom, but I was resisting fear and discomfort. Since I was resisting it it was no surprise that I was experiencing fear and discomfort, which was then reducing my experience of freedom and leaving me feeling out of control. I heard in a documentary called Beyond Theology that "humans are not supposed to live comfortable lives". We have the opportunity to learn, love, and grow as individuals and as a communities. We can use these opportunities by going outside our comfort zones and trusting that we can experience happiness, love, and joy at any time.
Close your eyes.
Imagine your life in a way that you can be completely happy and blissful. Imagine your life exactly how you want it. In a way that love and joy are so abundant that it pours out of you in every action. Feel this love and joy in your body now. And sit with it. Slowly open your eyes.
In this moment today we were able to experience love, joy, happiness, and bliss in our bodies without gaining anything material or changing anything except our thoughts. I believe we can all learn to turn those feelings on and still be present in our current lives. Once you bring in happiness and joy in with your thoughts and then feel it in body, you open yourself to recognizing it when it occurs naturally in life. It's a great way to feel supported as you walk through life's adventures.